I woke up blind

How should we respond when life goes wrong?

Yesterday, I woke up to a horrifying realization…

“I can’t see.”

I’ve been training Muay Thai kickboxing in Thailand for 6 weeks, preparing for my first fight on Friday.

But now, I’ve contracted the worst case of conjunctivitis the doctor has ever seen.

Unclean gym equipment and inconsiderate training partners are to blame.

As I type this, my eyes are nearly swollen shut.

I feel angry. I feel frustrated. I’m counting the money, time, and energy I’ve invested in preparing for the fight. A part of me is shaking his proverbial fist at the sky, saying:

“Why me? Why now?”

Fighting in Thailand is something I’ve dreamed about since I was 14 years old. Now it might not happen.

Luckily, I’ve been studying Stoicism lately, an ancient Greek philosophy that helps people live well regardless of misfortune.

I’ve enjoyed studying it, but I didn’t think I’d need to practice it so soon.

Here are three ideas I’m using to navigate this challenge…

Idea #1

The worst part of this illness is feeling robbed of my dream. I had this big idea of a triumphant victory in the ring, but that might not happen.

But Stoicism teaches that no matter what you’re going through, you always have a choice. Being wise, courageous, and humble is a choice available to us at every moment.

With this in mind, I choose to see misfortunes as a test. I like to think the universe is asking: “What kind of man are you?”

This perspective encourages me to prioritize being a good man above all else.

Idea #2

I want to be healthy. I want to fight. I want to win. But most of this is outside my control.

I didn’t choose for bacteria to enter my body. I might sustain a freak injury along the way. A fight is pure chaos, and anything can happen.

We are specks of dust in an infinite universe of complexity. Most things are hopelessly out of our control.

So, I’ve adopted two words: “Fate willing.”

If it’s meant to happen, it will. The decision is ultimately in the hands of the universe. I choose to do my best, find joy in the process, and let go of the outcome.

Idea #3

Most of my suffering in the last 48 hours hasn’t been the pain in my eyes. Trust me, it stings, but that’s not the worst part.

The worst part is the noise in my head. An angry, entitled little voice saying, “Oh, why me?!”

But another part of my mind responds: “Why NOT you? Sometimes people get sick. Life is full of disappointment, sadness, betrayal, tragedy, and suffering. This is life. What makes YOU so special to think you’re above it?”

When that voice speaks, I relax. It’s right. Life is suffering. Arguing with reality is futile; reality always wins.

As the Stoics say: “It's foolish to expect figs in winter.”

In life, there are times for victory, defeat, sickness, health, happiness, sadness, love, and indifference. These change like the seasons.

Whatever season of life you’re in, be grateful and humble, in bad times and good.

I don’t know how quickly this condition will heal. But the odds are, I’m not fighting on Friday. Regardless of what happens, I’ll take this setback on the chin, keep you posted, and get in the ring when fate allows.

I’ve got a gift for you.

The book that inspired this post is How to Think Like a Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson.

Click the link to download the book for free. Just don’t call the cops on me 😉

Peace and wisdom to you my friend.

OC