Why therapy didn't work for you

Hey man

I’ll start this email by saying that I currently see a therapist.

For me, it’s been tremendously useful over the years.

But there’s a problem.

Many men who come to me for coaching do so after having spent years in therapy.

They gained some self-awareness but they were mostly still struggling.

I believe that this is because of a simple reason.

Therapy does not understand men.

It’s a bold claim but I stand by it.

Most therapists are women.

Most therapy clients are women.

Modern therapy was mostly practised on women.

Psychotherapy was shaped primarily by women.

Am I saying that’s a bad thing? Of course not.

But it does present some challenges when a man seeks help in his life.

Most therapeutic practices tend to see men as “hairy women” who would be okay if only they just talked about their feelings more.

This is a gross over-simplification that gets two key things catastrophically wrong when working with men.

Thing #1: Men need a challenge.

No amount of therapy will change you if it doesn’t challenge you.

This is why my blend of therapeutic work and coaching is so effective for men.

It addresses the emotional blocks and negative beliefs …

But it also challenges you to get your ass moving.

If all you’re doing is talking about your problems without being pushed to actively fix them, it’s run its course.

Thing #2: Men need to spend less time in their heads … not more.

Talk therapy is overrated.

Most men suffer precisely because they’re stuck in their heads and can’t get out.

Sitting a man on a therapy couch and asking him to talk about his problems endlessly will only drag him further into the thought-filled hell he’s trying to escape.

He needs to get out of his mind and into his body.

He often needs to be taught how to do it.

This will help a man achieve the deep transformation he’s seeking.

Now, at the start, I said I see a therapist.

One thing I didn’t tell you … she’s a woman.

gasp

The reason it works for me is because I hire her in full awareness that she won’t challenge me. Call it my bi-weekly dose of feminine acceptance, if you will.

But I also have a male coach who challenges me to walk through the flames and be a better man.

Therapy isn’t bad.

Just know it’s limits.

What about you? What’s your experience with therapy as a man? Feel free to email me back and let me know.

If you’ve been in therapy for a long time and it hasn’t worked, you might be ready for something different.

Helping you find your purpose, fire and motivation in life you are is part of what I do in the Man On Purpose 12-week mentorship program.

It’s for men in their 30s who’ve achieved some worldly success but still feel like something is missing. And I help you find it.

I help you develop a strong sense of direction in life, discover (or rediscover) your true self and make that self-present in your relationships while being able to talk with confidence to anyone.

It will also help you break your addictions since most compulsions/addictions thrive when your life lacks focus and direction.

This whole programme is aimed at being able to say "I'm a man" and believe it.

All you have to do is click this link which will take you to my calendar.

Find a time that suits you, block it out and answer the follow-up questions.

We’ll meet on a call & find the clarity you're looking for and make a game plan for the next few months of your life.

Sound good? I look forward to speaking with you.

Oliver “Freud” Cowlishaw