the ONLY way to stop craving approval from women

Alright, mate,

Do you crave validation from women?

For a long time in my life, female validation was all I lived for.

It was hell.

If you’re in the same boat, I want to help you break the spell of female approval so you can finally develop unshakeable, grounded self-respect as a man.

Why do “nice guys” crave validation so much?

Here’s the truth: when a man doesn’t know who he is, he’ll look to others to tell him.

Men with “nice guy syndrome” lack a sense of core identity.

To compensate, they crave validation—compliments, affection, sex—just to feel good about themselves.

Validation feels good in the moment.

But when it becomes the most important thing in your life, it all starts to fall apart.

When a man craves validation too much, he might:

• Hide his true opinions, beliefs, and preferences to gain approval.

• Freeze up and struggle to talk or flirt confidently with women.

• Put on a fake mask of confidence to appear more attractive.

• Boast about achievements or money to impress women.

• Stick to “safe” (and boring) conversations to avoid disapproval.

• Avoid showing his desire, leading to the dreaded “friend zone.”

• Avoid women altogether.

At the core, your identity is based on approval.

This makes the pain of disapproval unbearable. So, you wear a mask to be liked.

But here’s the problem: that mask makes your life miserable because you’re not being authentic.

And mate, an authentic life is the only life worth living.

How do you stop craving validation?

It might sound simple, but it boils down to this:

Start seeking your own validation.

Here’s how:

• Clarify your values.

• Define your standards.

• Set your non-negotiable boundaries.

Values, Standards, and Boundaries

• Your values are the principles you live by (e.g., integrity, humility, self-respect).

• Your standards are the personal rules you set to bring those values into your life.

• Your boundaries are the external limits you set with others to ensure your values and standards are respected.

For example, I value self-respect (and you should too).

Here are some standards I’ve set for myself:

• I will not use language that demeans or criticizes me harshly.

• I will never stay silent when I feel disrespected.

• I will not double-text, over-pursue, or try to win someone over who isn’t genuinely interested.

And here are some boundaries I enforce:

• If someone repeatedly interrupts me, I’ll end the conversation or call it out.

• I’ll leave relationships where my self-respect is compromised, no matter how hard it is.

• If someone ghosts me, I won’t chase them or give them a second chance.

When you get clear on this stuff, you become the chooser in your relationships — not the beggar.

The truth is — most men have two values when it comes to women.

• Is she hot?

• Does she like me?

Mate, if that’s all you’re working with, you’re in for a world of trouble.

Chasing looks and validation will only lead to incompatible or toxic relationships.

We can do better—and we deserve better.

Instead of chasing her validation, ask yourself:

Am I living by my own values and standards?

When you start doing that, you’ll win your own respect.

And here’s the thing: when you deeply respect yourself, you’ll notice how women—and life—start to respond to you differently.

Thanks for reading,

Oliver

P.S.

Getting crystal clear on your values, standards, and boundaries is exactly what we work on in week 2 of the Pleaser-To-Leader 10-week VIP coaching program for men who want to become confident, assertive, and authentic in dating and relationships.

Become the confident masculine leader women deeply crave, respect, and admire.

Check it out here.