Still feel like a child?

Hey man

Let me ask you a question.

Deep down, do you feel like a man?

Do you feel…

• Independent.

• Confident.

• Self-assured.

• Assertive.

• Capable.

• Able to protect and provide?

Or do you feel, on some level, still like a kid?

Indecisive, unsure of yourself, and dependent on other people?

You might have a good job and be able to support yourself financially.

You might even have a girlfriend, wife or kids.

But for some reason, despite your “outward” success.

Psychologically you still feel stuck in the past.

And mentally much younger than you are.

If this describes you (even slightly) you aren’t alone.

This is what’s known as “Peter Pan syndrome” or “failure to launch” syndrome.

It’s this phenomenon where a man ages but fails to mature.

He stays stuck at around the age of 16 (or in some cases even younger).

This makes him codependent in his relationships, purposeless and prone to addictive patterns of behaviour.

His life isn’t a man’s life…but the life of a teenage boy.

Often these men are still staying up late playing videogames, avoiding cleaning up and still carrying anger towards mom and dad … despite being in their late 30’s.

In its extreme form, a man reaches his 50s and he’s still a child psychologically.

This is an ugly thing for other to witness, let alone experience.

Why does this happen?

There are around 10 factors that contribute to Peter Pan Syndrome.

But for the sake of brevity, I’ll cover the deepest reason in a single sentence.

Ready? Here it is.

This is why you don’t deserve to hate yourself for who you are.

If it was as easy as clicking your fingers and growing up — you would.

But it isn’t.

You want to grow and become.

You’ve read this far because you want to be the best version of yourself.

This is the deepest drive of every biological organism (aside from survival).

(Even plants grow towards the sun).

But along the way, something happened.

You were hurt.

Wounded. Neglected. Abused. Abandoned.

And you were just a child.

You didn’t choose the circumstances in which you were born.

You didn’t choose your parents and the trauma they projected onto you.

You didn’t choose to go through the shit you went through.

But you went through it anyway.

And perhaps the part of you that’s still a child is the part that never fully healed.

So what do you need to do?

You need to heal.

You need to be the loving father or big brother you needed when you were a child but never had.

Everything you didn’t get — you need to learn to give to yourself.

This is called Reparenting Yourself.

And it is probably the single greatest self-regulation skill you can learn.

Here are two options you can take from this point:

Option A:

• Read a book called “The Child In You” by Stephanie Stahl and start educating yourself on the concept of inner-child work.

• Research reparenting work.

• Start meditating and journalling daily.

Option B:

Helping you reparent yourself and heal your emotional wounds is part of what I do in my 12-week mentorship program for men aged 30+

I help you develop a strong sense of emotional independence. I help you find direction in life, discover (or rediscover) your true self and make that self-present in your relationships while being able to talk with confidence to anyone.

It's all aimed at being able to say "I'm a man" and actually believe it.

All you have to do is click this link which will take you to my calendar.

Find a time that suits you, block it out and answer the follow-up questions.

We’ll meet on a call & find the clarity you're looking for and make a game plan for the next few months of your life.

Sound good? Let’s have a chat.

Oliver “Big Bro” Cowlishaw

A child depends on other people because a child cannot survive without them.

Built a life to please everyone = child psychology

Built a life to serve yourself and those you love = man psychology