Silence your inner critic

Alright, mate.

Appreciate you. Just letting you know.

Anyway, today I stepped onto the scale…

82.9kgs

That’s a 9kg fat loss since I started my cut 10 weeks ago.

And do you know the first thing my mind said?

"Yes, Oliver, but you’ve been lighter than this before."

This is my inner critic.

It’s the part of my mind that:

• sets impossible goals

• punishes me with comparisons to more "successful" people

• invalidates any success I achieve as luck, fluke, or mistake

• holds me to impossible standards

• frames any imperfection as evidence of my basic unlovability, unworthiness, or brokenness

• perceives rest, relaxation, and downtime as laziness or weakness

• demands perfection in everything… or apparently it’s not even worth trying

Maybe your inner critic is the same.

Here’s one thing I realise more and more as I get older:

The inner critic/perfectionist/punisher needs to be tamed.

Otherwise, it will turn every success into a perceived failure and run us to death on a hamster wheel, chasing flawlessness and perfection.

The inner critic can shame us into action like a slave driver whipping its subjects.

But for long-term confidence, inner peace, and a fulfilling life with great relationships? It’s a recipe for despair and depression.

Think of the times you’ve been the most unhappy in your life.
Your mind was probably your worst enemy.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be ambitious or strive to fulfil our potential in this lifetime.

In fact, I don’t believe there’s any pursuit more worthy of our energy.

But this journey must be grounded in humility.

Perfection is an ideal that gives us something to strive for.

But we mustn't kid ourselves into thinking it’s possible.

A perfect man has never once existed.

One of my first role models, British spiritual philosopher Alan Watts, a man of incredible wisdom, was an unhinged alcoholic toward the end of his life.

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, a man of immense virtue and stoic ideals, was often so introspective he would delay simple decisions for months.

A question I’m committed to embodying is:

How can I stumble forward, appreciate myself every step of the way, and honour my flaws and imperfections as a part of the journey—not an obstacle?

Giving our best may not always produce the result we hope for.
And sometimes, our best is not enough.

And that’s okay.

Jean-Luc Picard said it best in Star Trek:

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life."

But the fact is, our best is all we’re capable of doing.
The rest is outside of our control.

Progress is enough.
Our best is enough.
And fundamentally, we are enough, just as we are.

Realising this is what phase 2 of my 12-week private coaching programme is all about.

When you build an unconditionally loving relationship with yourself — you radiate a kind of unshakeable confidence and charisma that’s genuinely magnetic.

Shame is the enemy of social confidence.

And that’s why we work on healing it at the root.

If you’re interested in becoming the most grounded and confident version of yourself so you can attract authentic relationships into your life — click this link, apply and let’s have a conversation about it.

I appreciate you, mate.

Oliver