I had to hold back tears on a call today...

Hey man

I’m not afraid to admit it…

I had to hold back tears on a call with a client today.

Let me tell you what happened.

I was on a call with Aidan.

Aidan is a 33-year-old tech support agent who came to me because he felt lost and stagnant in his life.

What caused this downward spiral is something tragic.

Life was going well…but then his girlfriend was involved in a car accident.

She didn’t make it.

Aidan was devastated.

He never fully recovered.

Now, his life was full of pain, numbness & struggle.

• He was staying up until 3 am playing Overwatch.

• He was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

• He was working a tech support job he hated.

• He was stressed, drained and depressed.

• He couldn’t sleep.

These were the words he used when I first met him...

"I have to force myself to get up and splash water on my face just to get through the day. What little time that I do have outside of work, I waste. I lie in bed at the end of the day asking, "What did I even do today?"

"I know what I do, but I just can't get myself to fucking do it. I have no momentum. Where do I even start?"

When I first met him, I could sense the immense weight he was carrying.

Like most men, he was dealing with his pain completely alone.

I wanted to help him.

But I never take on a client who isn't ready.

I turn them away and invite them to book a call with me when they are.

But Aidan? He was ready.

I could see it in the way he looked at me.

A look that says "No more of this"

I'm nervous to admit this...but for the first time in a while.

I was scared.

I'm confident in my abilities as a coach.

I've been doing this for years.

But there was a part of me that asked, "what if"

• "what if I fail him?"

• "what if I make it worse?"

• "he trusts me, what if I disappoint him?"

These were my burdens to carry, not his.

So we agreed to work together, and soon, we began.

Aidan was a machine from day one.

• He showed up to every session 5 minutes early ready to go.

• He completed the homework dead on time.

• He was attentive, receptive and absorbed new concepts and insights like a sponge.

• He read the books and did the exercises.

He brought a sense of presence, curiosity and, most importantly…

Raw fucking honesty.

(A potent and necessary combination.)

I watched him change before my eyes.

Each session a different, new and improved version showed up.

• The live returned to his eyes.

• He started smiling more.

• He was laughing again (something he didn’t do at the start).

But there were a few things he hadn't yet told me...

That was, until our 6th session.

His nervous tick is gone.

His mental health has improved dramatically.

He's started learning Japanese.

He set boundaries at work, who renegotiated his work hours and reduced his workload by 80%.

He quit smoking cigarettes.

His insomnia lifted.

Now he goes to bed at 11 and sleeps like a baby ("I feel fantastic")

And that's not all.

"My colleagues have noticed my mood has shifted. More friendly. I made a bunch of new friends at work, too. There's now talk at work of me being put forward for a leadership position."

I get emotional whenever a man comes through the other side of a dark patch.

But this got me even more emotional

Because working with Aidan was a growth journey for me, too.

I had overcome the small part of me that was scared and wanted to turn him away.

As a result, I had the honour of witnessing this man change in front of my eyes.

• Less boy. More man.

• Less fear. More acceptance.

• Less self-hatred. More self-love.

• Less overthinking. More action.

A willingness to stumble, imperfectly, towards a better life.

One day at a time.

Then I noticed tears welling up in his eyes.

As he was about to say something that broke my heart:

"I know she would be proud of me"

And yes.

Yes, my brother, she would.

Do you know something?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm not good enough to help anyone.

I look at other coaches and feel completely and utterly inferior.

An imposter.

But sometimes, I'm reminded of why I've stubbornly stood in the coaching profession despite nearly jumping ship a few times.

It's because of men like Aidan...

This is why I do what I do.

I keep going so that maybe a few more men like him might come across one of my videos or posts one day and think, "I'm gonna book a call with Oliver."

And maybe...just maybe.

They'll be better off for having done so.

If you resonate with Aidan’s story and you’re ready to change, helping you get unstuck like he did is part of what I do in the Man On Purpose 12-week mentorship program for men aged 30+

I help you find a strong sense of direction in life, discover (or rediscover) your true self, and conquer your addictions. When a man lacks purpose, he chases pleasure.

It also allows you to make your authentic, true self present in your relationships while being able to talk confidently to anyone.

All you have to do is click this link, which will take you to my calendar.

Find a time that suits you, block it out and answer the follow-up questions.

We’ll meet on a call & find the clarity you're looking for, and make a game plan for the next few months of your life.

Sound good? Let’s have a chat.

Big love,

OC