Have you lost your fire, brother?

Hey man

I just finished the gym and I'm walking home as we speak..

Something has just occurred to me that I wanted to share with you.

It's something that makes me feel sad…

And that's a man who has lost the fire inside.

He once felt fully alive, optimistic and confident.

But now he's a shy, anxious, codependent and people-pleasing nice guy.

Weighed down with shame and guilt about who he is.

He let's other people walk all over him.

People don't really respect him.

If he's in a relationship, his wife mistreats him.

His boss crosses his boundaries constantly.

And he lets it happen, never saying NO.

He's like the butler at his own mansion party.

This might sound like a dramatic picture I'm painting…

But the truth is it's an amalgamation of all the men I've worked with over the years.

And if that man was in front of me, I would say this…

Stop being the butler at your own house party.

Stop treating your own needs, perspectives and opinions as less important than other people.

Stop thinking that you are being selfish for treating yourself with respect.

Stop bending over backwards to please everyone else at the cost of yourself.

Stop taking responsibility for the feelings of everyone else.

Stop being nice. Start being real.

Drop the guilt and shame around who you are.

Refuse to be at war with yourself any longer.

Drop the mask you wear to stop other people seeing you.

End this lifelong pursuit of who you think you should be and what you should want.

In fact, fuck the word SHOULD and run your own race.

Commit to being the un-fuck-withable boss of your own life.

And start commanding the respect, admiration and desire you deserve.

That's all I have to say to you brother.

Have a great Sunday.

Big love,

Oliver