How to build a new habit (easily)

Hey man

Do you struggle to build good habits? Or quit bad habits?

If so, I’m right in that boat with you.

Over the years, the most challenging thing for me has always been self-regulation.

This is a fancy way of describing the skill of being able to delay gratification (say no to the marshmallow).

For example, I used to have no control when it came to food.

If biscuits were in the cupboard, one biscuit wasn’t enough.

I devoured the entire pack and instantly tried to forget what I’d just done.

This is a problem.

Because being able to delay gratification is incredibly important.

Anything worth achieving comes as a result of delayed gratification.

• A healthy body free from injury or illness comes from consistently resisting the cake (and the urge to stay in bed).

• A fulfilling career comes from choosing to study instead of watching Netflix & bingeing Baldurs Gate 3.

• A great sex life comes (at least partly) from being able to delay … well, you know.

But what do we do if delaying gratification doesn’t come naturally to us?

What do people like us do?

Well, as it happens, I’ve found a hack that I want to share with you.

I used to make fun of those guys doing timed challenges.

30 days of yoga.

75 hard.

75 soft (it’s a thing).

But that was a mistake.

You see, my argument was that anything with a deadline is pointless because it instils a kind of temporary mindset — and you’d just snap back to your previous bad habit when the challenge is over.

I think I may have been wrong.

I’m currently on day 21 of a 30 day no-porn challenge.

And it feels great.

I wasn’t watching crazy amounts before.

But my goal is to become the kind of man who literally never watches it. Ever.

And from the results I’ve experienced so far, I don’t think I will.

So my suggestion to you today is to pick a habit that you know would improve your life…

Download a habit tracker (I prefer HabitNow on android).

Set yourself a goal of 30 days without a single day off.

And go hard at it for the full duration without a break in the streak.

I firmly believe that 30 days of a new habit is enough time to determine whether it would benefit you long-term.

You can do most things for 30 days.

And honestly, it’s kind of fun.

Think of how many cool personal development experiments you could do for 30 days each.

• 30 days of approaching 1 woman a day.

• 30 days of reading for an hour.

• 30 days of practicing freestyle rap (okay that scares me).

Think of how much your life could change.

I’m converted.

30-day challenges have my seal of approval.

I’m even thinking of running some in my community for you to join for free.

If you’re interested, what 30-day challenge would you be interested in doing?

Maybe we can create a group together and pick a new challenge each month?

Just an idea.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading.

Take care until next time,

Oliver “Only just discovering 30-day challenges? Oliver where have you been for the last 15 years?” Cowlishaw