I believed this LIE about women for years...

Hey brutha!

I hope you crushed it this week … whatever crushing it looks like for you.

For me, I went back to Muay Thai after being ill for a week.

Granted … I got folded like a blanket in sparring but I’m glad I went.

Anyway, what am I talking about today?

Something most men can relate to.

Women always pick the bad boys and not nice guys.

Have you ever noticed that the most beautiful women sometimes end up with the guys who treat them the worst?

This is confusing because for decades Hollywood has been teaching men that being nice to women is how you get them to like you.

Isn’t that the entire plot of the movie Forrest Gump?

In case you’ve been living under rock, Forrest Gump is a movie that came out in the 90s.

It’s about a slightly dim-witted but loveable dude who lives a crazy life by just bumbling into different situations.

The love interest in the movie is a woman called Jenny.

Jenny and Forrest were childhood friends.

Forrest falls in love with Jenny but Jenny says no.

Throughout the entire movie, Jenny lives a wild life, doing cocaine and hooking up with band members as a groupie.

But because he’s nice and harmless she eventually ends up sleeping with him.

Nobody can accuse Hollywood of being realistic, eh?

This idea is not only a misrepresentation of how relationships work, but it’s also potentially dangerous.

Have you ever heard of a guy called Elliot Rodger?

Elliot was a 22-year-old man who went on a killing spree in 2014 near the University of California, Santa Barbara.

He killed 6 people and injured 14 others before turning the gun on himself.

What would drive a man to do such a vile, evil and disgusting thing?

That was the question everyone was asking.

Until the answer came out in a chilling manifesto written by Rodgers in the weeks before his killing spree which he titled “my twisted world”

From a few snippets which I will read to you now, it’s clear that not only was he mentally ill, but he was also sexually frustrated.

He felt a deep injustice at being rejected by women despite being (in his mind) a good, decent man.

Rodger believed a lie.

He believed, like a lot of men do, that being nice, polite and kind is all you need to do to win a woman’s love.

I’m not saying that this is the only thing that drove him to commit such a disgusting act.

But I am saying that the idea he believed is false.

On its own, being nice won’t get you very far with women.

And we all know it.

I believed this BS for the better part of a decade.

And what I experienced was pain, rejection, frustration and confusion.

So I went looking for answers.

And those I found online basically encouraged me to become an alpha male asshole.

I didn’t doubt that this would change my dating life and possibly get me laid.

But there was a problem. I didn’t want to be an asshole.

It went against my whole moral compass.

It seemed like the answers I kept getting were black and white.

“Be a beta or an alpha. No middle ground.”

That was until I read a book that every man should read.

It’s called No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

In the book, Glover talks about the spectrum between being an asshole and a nice guy.

A nice guy is, well, too nice.

He’s usually the dude who gets rejected, disrespected and often cheated on by women because he lacks a backbone.

Whereas an asshole is a man who women might sleep with for a night, but he’s also an asshole.

• He cheats.

• He lies.

• He manipulates.

• He makes the world worse to satisfy his selfish desires.

But there’s a 3rd option.

Glover calls this The Integrated Man.

This is a man who treats people with kindness, care and compassion…

But he doesn’t take any shit either.

• He’s assertive.

• He asks for what he wants.

• He sets boundaries.

• He’s made friends with his dark side and he uses it intentionally.

Both inside the bedroom and outside of it.

The truth is, that women love kind men with an edge.

Think of The Witcher for example.

Women went crazy for that guy because he had his light and dark integrated together.

He’s capable of softness and love but he’s a beast when it’s needed.

That’s why I believe every man should:

• Make friends with his capacity for chaos, mayhem and destruction.

• Get in touch with his anger and work on expressing it healthily

• Do some form of martial art regularly. Muay Thai. Brazilian Jui Jitsu. Boxing. It doesn’t matter.

You just need an arena to get to know your inner savage wild beast within you.

If you want to go a little deeper, check out this message on YouTube.

Have a great weekend,

Oliver