5 signs a man is too passive

... stop letting life happen to you

A few years ago, I was living in a cockroach-infested party house in Lisbon.

I was overweight from bingeing 2-for-1 pizzas, using food to cope.

Chronically anxious. No direction.

Hiding in my room playing video games, working a job I had zero interest in—writing SEO content for a drop-shipping company.

Looking back, I wasn’t just lost.

I was completely passive.

I had no control over my life. No confidence. No direction. No ability to change it.

And the worst part?

I thought this was just how life is.

It wasn’t.

Here are five signs you’re living passively—and how to take your power back.

1. You Tolerate Work That Drains You

You tell yourself, "This is just how it is."

You stay comfortable, putting off change for years. Maybe decades.

I was a fitness instructor even though I craved something deeper.

Until one day, I realized:

If you stay passive, the next five years will look like the last five.

What would you build if you had total freedom?

And if you’re not starting now—why?

2. You Let Your Emotions Control You

You’re stuck in fear, self-sabotage, and procrastination.

You’re not living new years—you’re living the same year 10 times.

That was me. Junk food, video games, emotional avoidance.

When you become a self-leader, you stop waiting to feel ready.

You step into discomfort. You take control.

What would you do if fear no longer got in your way?

3. You’re Indecisive

You seek permission. You need validation.

You’re afraid of making the wrong choice, so you don’t choose at all.

And if you do this in small things, you do it in big things too.

Where you live.
Who you date.
What kind of life you build.

A self-leader makes bold decisions.

Pick one decision you’ve been avoiding and make it right now.

4. You Have Weak Boundaries

You avoid conflict.
You say yes when you want to say no.
You let people overstep.

And because of this, you attract toxic people and bad relationships.

A self-leader demands respect over approval.

What are you tolerating right now that needs to stop?

5. You’re Your Own Worst Enemy

A passive man speaks to himself like his worst critic.

And because he doesn’t believe he deserves more,
He tolerates bad friendships, bad relationships, bad jobs.

But a self-leader is his own best friend.

If you spoke to a child the way you speak to yourself,
What kind of person would they grow up to be?

So I’ll ask you this:

How long will you wait before demanding the best for yourself?

If you loved yourself completely, is this the life you would accept?

Hit reply and let me know—what sign hit you the hardest?

Oliver